Life

I haven't posted since December 8th. But I mostly kept my commitment to post every day of the year. This is the end of this blog - to document my life every day in pictures of the year I turn 60 years old. And it was quite a year.

My dictionary has many definitions for life. My very first post of the year had the words to a James Taylor song that I love - the secret of life is enjoying the passage of time. I guess I did enjoy the passage of time this year - mostly. Even in the loss of my mother, I can say it was a meaningful and a learning experience for me. I'm not worried about where she is and I know I will see her again. It's ironic that tonight on New Year's Eve, I am here alone with no TV on and have been reading a book. It's a little paperback book that belongs to my "baby" sister called Life After Life. I was drawn to it tonight. I do believe in life after life.

I spent a lot of time tonight also going back over this entire blog, reading every entry and all the comments. Thank you friends and family and a couple of "unknowns" for your comments and interaction. Thank you, Joan, for this idea. I enjoyed your blog and you inspired me with your last comment to finish this out and post one last night before the year ends. Finish what I started.

I learned a lot this year. I learned that I can learn first of all! ha! I've kept journals by hand before and when I go back and read them, I'm amazed at the things I did, not realizing how busy I was. I never think I do enough. But this year I've learned that I do what I can. For the coming year, I don't know if I will blog again or not. I do love to blog but I might take a break from blogging every single day. I just haven't made a plan or decided yet. I really did enjoy going back and looking at the photos and posts on this blog and the comments people made. The middle of the year was very tough but I'm glad it's documented. I have the name of a company who will print your blog for you. I am going to check into that about the cost, etc., and I may do that to preserve it.

I've learned that I play many roles. I, of course, started out as two people's baby, then a sister, niece, granddaughter, cousin, wife, sister-in-law, mother, aunt, mother-in-law, grandmother and, hopefully, friend. And all these people have played a role in my life. If I have any resolutions for the year 2010, it is to love myself so that I may love and do for others. I've learned that lesson this year. I'm not trying to be self-centered but selfish. There's a difference. By being selfish, which means just loving myself, I'll be better able to love others, give clean gifts, and serve as a better role model of someone who loves and gives to others but also has a life of her own to enjoy.

I plan to start the year of 2010 with art classes on January 4th. There are a few other things I have planned, too, but I'm just going to try to enjoy the ride again. None of us know what the next year holds but all we can do is our best. My goal is improvement for myself in all areas possible and to love my God, the life he has given me and my family and friends. I hope everyone reading this has a very meaningful 2010. Thank you for visiting my blog in 2009. It was a good experience.

Above is a photo taken this Christmas of my immediate family - my husband, my two daughters and their husbands and my granddaughter. I love them all dearly. But I have so much of an extended family that I love dearly, too. Life has been good to me in my 60 years and I'm so thankful for that.

I'm OK But. . . .

I know everyone is decorating for Christmas now and I have been, too, so why this Thanksgiving/Fall photo at this time of year? Well, the last two days I've been ok but. . . I still feel like I have these "moments" or "times" when I feel so down and I guess it's because I miss my mother. The photo above I like because I did decorate for Halloween and Thanksgiving and Christmas even though I really didn't feel like it. But I did it. And as I did it, I added in little things of my mother's that would remind me of her and make my home feel like she's a part of all this "celebrating."

In the photo above, the two little ceramic squirrels were my mother's. I remember them for as long as I can remember and everywhere we lived, I remember her hanging them on an outside wall of our house. That's why I love them - because she did and they were so important to her. They ARE cute, aren't they? I wonder where she got them. I never asked her and wish I had. She probably ordered them from a catalog. She loved to order things from a catalog. :)

After her house was almost empty, I went out on her screened-in porch on the back of her house and saw these still hanging on the wall outside. Everyone had been through her things and made lists and gotten things they wanted and no one had taken down those little squirrels. I just couldn't leave them yet I couldn't give them away so I took them home. They just seem to look perfect with the greenery and pumpkins, etc.

Today my husband and I took our granddaughter to the Shakespeare Theatre here to buy tickets to a play. As I was talking to the lady in the ticket office, somehow the subject came around to our mothers and holidays and I just broke down crying in front of the woman. I thought I was through with that but I guess not. The lady was very understanding and thoughtful about this with me. She told me that a time would come that I would treasure moments like I had today. I guess time will only tell.

Soap, Anyone?

I know this is a strange photograph but. . . . this is a journal done by photography for this year, right? I am constantly seeing things I can photograph now. I was in the shower and noticed what pretty colors were bubbling up on my bar of soap. So here I am soaking wet wishing I had my camera! That's pretty obsessive I guess!! Then I thought, "well, I can go get my camera and get the shot after I get out of the shower and dry off." By the time I got my camera, the pretty little bubbles were gone. I did not let this get me down. I took the soap out and rubbed around on it with my sponge and up came some more bubbles so I photographed away in the shower!! Can you imagine?!? ha! These were just not as pretty, though, as the very first ones I saw.

I guess my point I'm trying to make here is that my vision is constantly changing since I've started this blog which, for me, is successful and makes me happy that I've worked on this blog all year. I still have SO much to learn which is exciting, too!

Good Excuses!

I do have plenty of good excuses for not posting for a few days. In one word - Thanksgiving!! But it was so good. I spent it with all my girls and hubby and other family members I love so much. It was a lot of hard work, cleaning and cooking for hours and hours but it was worth it all. I have so much to be thankful for. There was a vacancy with my mother not being with us this year so I made sure I placed some things out here and there to remind me of her. And I attempted her famous caramel cake. It wasn't just like hers but it did taste good and was all eaten pretty quickly. I think she would have liked it, too.

Now it's December and thoughts are on Christmas. We already have most of our decorations out. I am almost through with shopping and have already done what few Christmas cards I am sending. For the month, I would love to enjoy Christmas sewing and I love to bake and decorate cookies. Maybe I will have time to do that, too. Simplifying things is the best way to go!